Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
