I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
