Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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