yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
