Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
