I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Life is so much better after having sex.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
