So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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