Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
