Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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