I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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