DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
