theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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