well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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