Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
