I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sorry about my life...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
