You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
