I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
