I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
