I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
