1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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