There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
