I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
