To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
