life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
