I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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