im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
