laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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