In the future we'll all be gay
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
