So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Vodka?
Forever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
