Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
