I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
