this boner is exhausting
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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