Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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