There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just found puke in my bra..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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