My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
