I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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