i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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