I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
