Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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