Someone shit on the floor
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
