bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
