you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
