is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
