I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
