Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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