matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
