I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
