So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
