My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
