You just made me feel so damn special
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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